November 2023 was the Taylor Swift month for me as I had a chance to go watch her concert movie - The Eras Tour. When I first heard about it, I thought it would be some kind of documentary where she talked about her struggles behind the scenes, her overall success and how proud she was of herself and her team. However, when I got to watch it, I was in total awe because it was the whole concert itself. It lasted three hours with no real filler dialogue. If anything, there were just a few moments where she made well-versed remarks to guide the audience through the next eras, which truly impressed me.
I bought the ticket for the movie at IMAX Landmark 81 in Saigon, and I was extremely thrilled with the crowd. People treated it as a real concert with light sticks, dance moves and synced chanting as if it was live. I had such a great time that I ended up going to the same theater three more times just to watch her and enjoy the crowds. It was unexpectedly healing! Though I didn’t go to any of her 149 live concerts, the movie alone was inspiring enough to leave long-lasting impressions. So grateful for the experience, I exclaimed to my friend: “What a time to be alive! You know? To be alive at the same time as the mighty Taylor Swift!”
In April 2024, I was suddenly drawn to learning Korean. So, I spent the past year intensively consuming K-drama OSTs to get exposed to the Korean language, besides binge-watching K-dramas. After a year of basically resetting my Youtube algorithms (it’s all Korean content now), recently, I have found comfort back in my first love - English. No one else but Taylor Swift, specifically the album Lover, has lit my “way back home”. While continuously, mindlessly streaming the album, I realized how much I loved some lines of it, and how much The Eras Tour healed parts of me that I couldn’t unpack on my own. So today, I decided to write about the lyrics that healed me during the concert and afterwards.
“You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.”
Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince - Lover
This line reminded me of quite an unpleasant experience. In the first quarter of 2023, in the midst of my own multi-layered crisis, I realized I got entangled in a very weird friendship-relationship triangle. I was friends with a couple whose girlfriend was secretly unhappy about my friendship with the boyfriend, but wouldn’t admit it. I was stunned when I found out, and neither of them stepped up to offer clarity, leaving me to navigate yet another unexpected turmoil alone.
I had already stepped back significantly since the start of their relationship and made conscious efforts to set firm boundaries, but insecurities and ambiguity somehow persisted. At some point, I was so frustrated and angry that evil thoughts started to invade my mind: “Well if you really wanna be that jealous of me, I’m gonna give you more reasons. Let’s shake up this whole fake sense of peace and respect among us, shall we?” (Not that the boyfriend’s role in the crime scene was ever excused.)
Of course, I didn’t act on those thoughts, and just set the real, final boundaries of no individual contact with either of them, giving up on both friendships I once treasured. Expectably, the pain and anger lingered. When this line was on, somehow it touched me, met me where I was and gently nudged me to shake the lingering anger off. I realized that all the villainous thoughts weren't really me and definitely weren't worth it. Her succinct line was like a rhythmic way of saying: If you invest your energy and time into something that’s sinking anyways, even if you're winning, you're losing. With that simplified, light-hearted wisdom in the pocket, I was happy to just drop the act and cut down considerably on how much mental space these thoughts were taking up.
“Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke.”
Daylight - Lover
I felt so seen and heard listening to this line. Before I reached the final, ultimate boundary of no contact, I tried my hardest to communicate with both of them. I initiated talks with the girlfriend to help provide clarity, and confronted the boyfriend for a proper code of conduct before even considering resuming the friendships, so that my presence wouldn’t accidentally disrupt their peace. I was determined to steer the wheel toward protection and emotional safety for all.
It wasn’t just me. They, too, expressed their desire to maintain our friendships. But sometimes, good intentions aren’t enough. The more I tried, the more damage I noticed and the more exhausted I became. After each conversation that ended with more hurt than repair, I grew increasingly resentful - toward them, toward myself, and a lot toward the stupid non-violent communication thingy that we all insisted on practicing.
Looking back, it was a wrong move on my part to have overstayed my welcome as a friend, lingered too long in the treacherous fog (for reasons I later sat with myself to unpack), and I hope that by now, I’ve learned my lesson to STRICTLY stay away from messy, questionable relationship dynamics. Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke was the perfect visual analogy to help me realize letting go was the only thing left that made sense. The way she sang it, I felt as if I were venting to a trusted adult about my silly struggles and being offered a fresh perspective in return: “Well, I see what you’ve been trying to fix, and why it matters, but don't you see how hurt you are? And was this even your job to begin with?” Oh, it sure as hell wasn’t!
“You live like that, you live with ghosts.”
Bad Blood - 1989
I love this moment when my brother and I, on my fourth time watching the movie, were screaming these precious lines from the top of our lungs, releasing all the bottled anger and frustration at the respective people in our lives at the time: “Band aids don't fix bullet holes. You say sorry just for show. YOU LIVE LIKE THAT, YOU LIVE WITH GHOSTS!!!”
Liberating!
Anger and sadness are normally taught to be suppressed by our family and the grander society. We often have no time or willingness to really sit with them. Even if we do, or try to, there’s always a rush in just getting it over with, like: “Hey, anger, hey, I know better than to suppress you, so erm, I'm going to be here… tolerating you.” It was exactly the case for us, prior to that epic moment when the anger Taylor Swift so boldly embodied in this song gave us permission to truly feel and act out our own. The poor anger then just evaporated, like it had been waiting forever to be felt, revealing our deep pain of being mistreated. Not only us, people around us were singing their hearts out too, but I’m convinced none of us carried any real malice. Coming in contact with a catalyst powerful enough to help unleash our anger in its full weight, to be “the bad guy” out loud for once, only to then acknowledge how much it hurt underneath it all, was purely therapeutic. We even joked afterwards about how desperate we were for this kind of free therapy.
It also represents such an organic way to live, you know? I admire and respect Taylor Swift for the way in which she is willing to go to great lengths in exploring her vast emotional landscapes, to live through, capture and turn such difficult emotions into art. It then widens her spectrum of emotions so that people can feel her touch of empathy, no matter where they are on their messy, twisted human journey. In a world where emotions are judged so violently, and people with sensitivity are often looked down on, pigeonholed, or even bullied, she unapologetically lives through all of it. If that’s not courage, I don’t know what is.
“Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”
Enchanted - Speak Now
Here comes another shade of emotion and vulnerability that Taylor Swift demonstrated so subtly. In today’s dating world, it’s advised, logically so, to aim for a secure attachment style where you beg no one to stay or love you, but cultivate love and reassurance within yourself. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Sometimes, it puts too much pressure on people, especially the so-called anxiously attached, pushing them to hastily craft a cool, unfazed facade.
When singing this song, Taylor was standing in a sparkly, gorgeous purple princess dress. Not moving much, she stood still on stage, almost whispering what seemed like a deep, secret plea - not to be abandoned. This lyric specifically spoke to my inner soft, lover girl who was cautiously hiding and healing behind the walls I’d built to convince myself I was enough and didn't need anyone’s mercy. Hearing the song with a fresh wound of post-breakup, I found it both triggering and healing, because I’d been almost certain that my tender, loving girl was dead. No, seriously, I thought the heartbreak crushed her, and I’d never see her again. I was surprised to see her come out to admire the performance and silently shed some tears. And well, who of us hasn’t once prayed that those we chose to give our heart to wouldn’t betray us? It’s so empowering to stand firm in our own truth, even when it’s something so vulnerable like admitting being unsure of the intention of the world. That moment stuck with me for a very long time.
“Did you hear my covert narcissism lightly disguised as altruism...”
Anti-Hero - Midnight
Wow, just wow! First, that was a lot of vocabulary to take in, covert narcissism, disguise and altruism. But the layers were also so intricate that I was shook.
Narcissism is a modern pop-culture term for people who’re caught up in their own desires without giving a care to others. There’s been a growing number of articles and podcasts giving out warnings about and insights into this type of personality. Covert narcissism takes the concept one step further. When somebody with a tendency of narcissism, as described - operating from a place of mere self-absorption and self-serving, manages to make it unnoticeable, it’s covert. These terms were already too abstract, but she then cut open another layer by throwing in the word altruism. Isn’t altruism too big a word to be mentioned in a song? So the sarcasm and rawness here are on another level.
Simply put, the lyric means: I do things that make it seem like I care, but I’m actually doing it for my own best interest. I cover it so well, but I’m standing here asking you, half-challenging, half-admitting, unflinching: “Did you see through it? Did you see through all the psychological games at play? Either way, I’m owning my truth.” What kind of deep, brutal honesty and bravery is this? To admit such a thing takes guts!
At the time, I was starting to have my delusions shattered as the image I’d built of certain people in my life - those who constantly preached good things but the actions didn’t add up - started to crumble. My idealistic belief system got shaken.
I saw it in myself as well. Sometimes, I struggled to fully own up to my intentions, whether out of embarrassment, shame or simply a lack of awareness. I often caught myself trying a little too hard to maintain the nice, wise girl image. I splashed out generosity, but deep down, who knows if I wasn’t subtly seeking something unspoken, like... validation? chills
It then led me to wonder: Which of my generous acts came from pure abundance, and which were muddled with unidentified ulterior motives? As someone who claims to value integrity, clarity, and sustainability, I was intrigued.
So, I saw it in myself. I saw it in different people in my life. This was a striking revelation of the inconvenient layers of human complexity - an interesting mirror to reflect on, though perhaps a tad extremified and vilified.
---
Okay, that was a bit heavy, wasn’t it? All those calling out and emotional release. Let’s switch channels, the next line I loved was from the song Lover.
“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.”
Lover - Lover
It was so cute. I loved it. I'm singing while writing these lyrics down.
I actually got to the theater a bit late on my first time. As I walked in, this song was playing. At the cue: “Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?” - almost the whole theater stood up! Gosh, how interactive! How loyal and engaged did the fans have to be to follow her cue so perfectly? She wasn’t even there, and yet they followed her lead, no questions asked, no nudge needed! They all stood there as if to witness her poetic confession.
She started out as a country girl that sang country songs, right? And the image of her holding a guitar has long been carved into our heart as the Taylor Swift we have always known. Now she speaks for anyone that has tried to play the guitar and knows the pain of fingertips pressed against the strings: With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take not just this man, but this magnetic force of a man, in a declaration as grand and solemn as a wedding vow, yet not to be my husband, but my lover. It’s just so sweet, so dramatic and heart-melting! It’s almost as sweet as the cover of the album itself, with the pastel palette of blue and pink watercolor mix and a sprinkle heart around her eyes. The whole thing screams LOVEEEEEE at the honeymoon phase - so, so squeal worthy!
Following suit was the bridge from Cruel Summer, which also belonged to the opening era of her concert. It was the viral chanting moment where she teasingly wondered: “Does anyone here know the lyrics to this bridge?” Then at fans’ loud “YESSSSSS”, she commanded: “PROVE IT!” and immediately sang:
“I'm drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh). Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you. And I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer, just to seal my fate (oh). And I screamed, “For whatever it’s worth! I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” He looks up, grinnin’ like a devil.”
Cruel Summer - Lover
Okay, can’t believe I just sang out the whole bridge while typing. But it’s a magnetic and electrifying bridge, don’t you agree? It described cinematically some feelings almost every teenage girl would know: the sneaking out to see someone, the dilemma of either to share what we truly feel, or to hide it and just say we’re fine.
As adults, we (had better) learn the importance of open, honest communication, for the better. But for a teenage girl, it’s very tempting to just say I’m fine. Then came the expectable moment of I scream for whatever it’s worth - so real and impulsive. Like, you did not know how to let out your true feelings in real time, so you just let them pent up inside, only to break dramatically at some point. You couldn’t say it calmly, you had to scream. You didn’t know what would come out of it, either, hence: for whatever it’s worth, I love you! Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard? The whole bridge captured the pain of falling uncontrollably in love, while being completely unsure of the other person’s feelings. Worst situation to be in!
Naturally, when someone confesses their love, it should ideally be gently received right? But in this case, even the girl knew that it may not land as music to the other person’s ears, and would ultimately not work in her favor. “But you know what? Whatever. It's my truth, and I cannot contain it anymore. So here it goes, I’m going to scream it out.” I find it painfully relatable. The mood swing depicted was on point!
I’m drunk at the back of the car - speaking of those reckless phases. I cry like a baby coming home from the bar - there's a very high chance we’ve all been there?
Finally, a rom-com-coded ending to a chaotic confession: he looked up grinning like a devil. Mischievous. Toxic. Manipulative, even. The age-old recipe for a messy entanglement. The ultimate teenage trap. But well, at least it made her happy. Hehe.
“No one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since, to make them love me and make it seem effortless. This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess.”
Mastermind - Midnight
I still remember that specific day in my primary school, fifth grade, when I was sitting nervously at my seat. It was a class meeting, the teacher was asking for a show of hands from about 45 ten-year-olds whether I was deserving to be called “Cháu ngoan Bác Hồ”.
Weird! How on Earth was a child’s dignity and deservingness up for a vote like that? Anyway, looking back, I do suspect that at the exact moment, I started to sense that I would have to people-please my way through life. “Otherwise” - my then 10-year-old mind feared - “it wouldn’t end well”.
I was an awkward, reserved girl with an embarrassing short haircut (forced onto me by my mom) while in my class, there were brilliant kids who would grab all kinds of national awards. There was even this adorable babydoll of the class whose comic collections charmed everyone (we’re friends now, all good, hehe). I started as early as at that age to wonder where my place in the world would be and how I could make sure people would willingly hang out with me.
I didn’t think I’d functioned with this thought in the background all those years, but when Taylor sang those words, I was startled. It was like she reached into my past and found me. Struggling. Scheming. Anxiously calculating ever since.
It’s not an easy thing to admit, and even harder to unlearn. I’ve spent so many adult years trying to break the spell, trying to unlearn this coping mechanism and replace it with something healthier, something that feels more sustainable, authentic, and safe in the long run. But how can she describe it so well? She poked at my 10-year-old and made her feel seen! Who does that!
“You’re on your own kid.”
You’re On Your Own, Kid - Midnight
Next comes her famous quote that has made its way to countless graduates’ senior yearbook notes because of how encouraging and acknowledging it is.
There she was, in a red dress, in the middle of the show at the acoustic set. When we got to this part where she brought out her instruments, it already felt like a wind down to the end of the show. Then, she went on to perform for another one and a half hours! Mad respect for her!
Back to the song. It was the first time I listened to this song in the movie. I didn’t know the year it was released, but it was beautiful, real, and raw.
’Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned. Everything you lose is a step you take. - My all-time favorite visuals, and I remember praising it somewhere in my blog already. So there’s another part of the song that hit even harder to me:
“I looked around in a blood-soaked gown, and I saw something they can’t take away.”
Earlier that year, like I’ve mentioned a million times, I was trudging through a ridiculous stack of accumulated losses. Almost all the foundational things that once kept me together came apart. It was overwhelming, having to rebuild almost everything from scratch. But in one of those devastating moments when I had no better choice but to look inside, I did see something they couldn’t take away. I wouldn’t diminish it by trying to articulate what it was, but there was definitely a sacred something that no heartbreak, no breakage, no betrayal, no back-turning could ever take away from me. Empowering yeah? The real kind. Her voice made it feel like it came from a big sister, reassuring me that it’s all okay. And I’m going to be just fine.
“I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.”
Long Live - Speak Now.
Taylor was ending the movie with the song Long Live playing over the credits. At the first listen, I found the melody to be a bit flat, not as charming as the tearful audiences made it out to be. But by the fourth time watching, after looking up the lyrics, I fell right in love with it, especially the fighting dragons metaphor.
How I love the image of fighting dragons with you! Like, of course, dragons - not even a real creature, and of course, fighting - with all the seriousness in the world. Nothing cries urgency like a childhood mission that draws a bunch of kids together. I often refer to my childhood as isolated and lonely. There was too much silenced, silent suffering - so much that I’d rather forget most of it as I grew up. When asked about high school time, I do not recall a lot of things. But these lyrics reminded me of a special time in adulthood where I experienced the same precious togetherness.
I once joined a book club where the host created a space for all of us to bring out our inner curious child, the one who loved to read, learn, and share. Over time, we grew closer, updating each other on even the silliest, most absurd, awkward things in our lives. I’m not sure if that was the host’s intention. Maybe, at some point, the unexpected closeness strayed too far from what he had envisioned, and he dismissed the club altogether? But my friend and I truly found solace in it. Hearing this lyric, we deeply related to those book club days when we met twice a month, just to talk about what we had learned, from books and in life, in the purest, most unfiltered way possible. In return, we were genuinely curious about the others’ thoughts. It was a beautiful thing to be reminded of by this song.
The phrase choice of I had the time of my life was brilliant, it holds truths. It wasn’t just a good day, a good month, or even a good year - but something as significant as the time of my life, fighting dragons with you.
Take one step further, and it’s not just about the imaginary battles we went to as a child anymore. To me, the dragons can represent something possibly harder to see but easy to feel, like the constant anxiety, the self-imposed pressure to always do better, the fear of falling behind, the weight of depression, the endless cycle of overwhelm and doubt - all the invisible, yet very real monsters we face every day in early adulthood. I don’t know about others, but for me, it’s an everyday fight. And for Taylor to describe it in such a pure, lively, childlike way, it speaks volumes. Once again, I thank the book club and the friends in it for being my camaraderie through that phase of life, giving me strength to stand tall in the face my dragons.
From the same song, there was another line:
“If you have children someday. When they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell them how the crowds went wild. Tell them how I hope they shine.”
It reflects the deepest love and goodness human beings can offer to one another, one that feels freeing rather than constraining. Yes, go ahead and tell them how I hope they shine. Not just “I wish you shine,” but “I wish your baby, the person you hold dear when I may not be in your life anymore, shine too.” I would love to believe in forever, but I’m realistic and grounded enough to know that life changes in ways no one can predict. And if life happens to force us into a goodbye, I want you to know, I don’t just wish you the best. I wish everyone you hold dear the best.
Isn’t that so expansive, abundant, and freeing? The kind of love I yearn to cultivate within myself.
---
So, that’s it for now.
Of course, if we look hard enough, or not even that hard, we can find gems splattered all over the concert. It’s already too long, otherwise, I’d keep going. But these are the moments that stuck with me throughout the years. Even now, I’m writing this with The Eras Tour setlist playing in the background.
I don’t know where Taylor is going with her career (but seeing how far she’s come made my heart expand with pride and admiration). I’m not specifically invested in her love life either (I hope she does find long-lasting, real love though, if that what’s she’s in for). Fun fact, I even went through a phase where I refused to admit I was a Swiftie, until my dear friend hit me with a question that made me laugh out loud and came out of my denial:
My friend had just posted a story about watching The Eras Tour concert movie that day, and I messaged her, asking where she went, because I wanted to find the same vibe. At the time, I was thinking of going to see the movie for the third time, because my second experience wasn’t it - the crowd was too introverted for my liking. So I hesitated and said: “I’m considering it… but going to the same movie three times when I’m not a Swiftie seems a bit much, yeah?” And she, completely unimpressed, threw it right back at me: “On what level of denial are you that you claim not to be a Swiftie, but seriously considering seeing the same movie for the third time?”
A slap in the face.
She didn’t have to call me out like that, but she did. And too bad she was right. So, I made peace with the fact that I may not be the hardcore Swiftie who buys flight tickets to attend her concert (yet) nor one who defends her on every online platform, but I AM the Swiftie who absorbs her lyrics, takes them in, and holds them to heart. Her work has single-handedly brought me through a lot of difficult seasons, and made me feel a little less lonely in a lot of delicate moments. For that, I’m really grateful.
I’m so happy to finally share with you some of my thoughts on this. I kept it to myself for over a year. I thank technology for allowing me to record this blog post then convert it to text, saving my eyes from exploding in excessive contact with screens. I then spent a day refining the original text, with a bit of help from ChatGPT. Thanks, mate!
I hope you enjoyed it.
Till next time!
P/s:
Anyone who knows a thing or two about Taylor Swift knows that 13 is her number (and mine teehee). So, naturally, I drafted 13 parts for this blog. But the post got too long, and I couldn’t wait to just publish it, so I left it there at 10 parts. Still, something felt incomplete, and here I am, a few days later, pouring out the remaining three parts. Thanks for bearing with this very ADHD and OCD move of mine (not officially diagnosed, just recklessly throwing terms around, don’t come at me, hehehe).
“I canceled my plans just in case you’d call.”
August - Folklore
This is so teengirl-coded! Too real it hurts. Boy, am I familiar with that anticipation! The classic will he, won’t he debate...
30-year-old me now may just straight-up text or call first to ask, or (learn to) walk away at the earliest signs of ambiguity and mixed signals. But growing up? Back when I didn’t know better? There sure was a time when dignity felt both too real and too fragile, best I could do was make space, sit in uncertainty, restlessly wait. I don’t even want to recall the silent, bewildering, soul-crushing disappointment that surely entails in cases like these.
One thing is obvious, though - heartbreak was already lurking. In the song, that just in case almost reflected the exact position one of them had in the other’s life - ambiguous, an afterthought, an option. Much as she tried, she couldn’t be sure where she stood, just like she couldn’t know if the date was even going to happen. Sooner or later, she would have to come face to face with that reality. OMG girl run!
Is it too paranoid of me? Haha. Still, I felt a strong urge to shake some sense into the girl (aka younger me): “Canceling plans now seems small, but it’s another brick in the wall of self-abandonment you’re unconsciously building. Don’t go there, girl. Basically just don’t do situationships, you’re not cut out for it!”
The word situationship popped up naturally when writing this, so I went back to listen to the whole song again and yup, Taylor DID paint a textbook situationship with this one... I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending (Exile, Taylor Swift)... Sure enough, by the end of the song, the girl arrived at that gut-punch realization: You weren’t mine to lose, no.
sigh - canon events...
Anyway, this one lyric was too painfully real, the flashbacks were hard to watch. I listened to it, reluctantly extending compassion to my younger self, and let it remind me to stay present... to watch out for the same traps 😬 (I’m well aware I’ve yet to be 100% immune).
“Just between us, do you remember it all too well?”
All Too Well (10 Minute Version) - Red
All Too Well, the famous All Too Well, the new unit of measurement Swifties alone have invented. I saw reels where people joked: “Now when I need to get somewhere, I calculate it in All Too Well lengths. Three All Too Wells means it takes me 30 minutes, and a deadass road trip of an hour and a half basically means nine All Too Wells. So I’m good.” So funny!
Being the queen of breaking human limits that she is, Taylor Swift really wrote a ten-minute version of All Too Well. This song was already my all-time favorite (obsessed with so casually cruel in the name of being honest to this date). But when she re-recorded and added a part where she whispered back-to-back just between us in immense groundedness, it quietly poked at my heartstrings in a totally different way.
There’s a teasing, almost gossip-like energy in her just between us, like an impatient nudge: “Come on, tell me, I won’t tell a soul.” Some (meaning, other personalities of mine) might read this as a subtle, restrained evil force seeping through. But to me (the personality writing this), it felt less like scheming and more like she was trying keys on the secret closet inside the person she’s singing to: “Hey, it’s safe. You don’t have to admit it to the world - just to me. Just between us, do you remember it all too well?”
It’s so human, no? The deep yearning to feel less bewildered and alone in what clearly seemed a two-person journey. That lingering ache of seeking one last confirmation of reciprocality, to finally close the door. Have you been there?
What stood out to me was the persistence and coherence of that longing. This song originally came out in 2012, which means a decade later, when she was not necessarily still stuck in the past anymore, she was also not afraid to revisit it, then willingly stumbled briefly on the remaining urge to search for proof that it was real.
The way she repeated it - Just between us. Just between us. Just between us. - carries an almost hypnotic weight. It’s not that she’s still waiting. The girl has moved on big time. But even so, there’s that haunting wonder: “Was I at least something to you?” “Was the feeling even mutual at some point?”
And it feels like a single yes - a quiet, whispered yes from the other party - would have freed her from so much pain and loneliness.
“... but you tolerate it...”
Tolerate It - Evermore
And the 13th award goes to the iconic performance of hers in Tolerate It, starting with her setting up the dinner table, waiting, then sit there and watch you. It squeezed my heart when the guy she was waiting for finally walked in, with that face of exhaustion, not from the world, but from her, from them, from the rotting relationship they were stuck in.
It reminded me of Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, a song covered by Rosé of BLACKPINK that carried me for a while post break-up. Like that song, Tolerate It is a perfect song to describe the heart-wrenching stage of a relationship where the love is already too far gone. It has turned into too much of a terminal disease for any sensible human to keep harboring hopes, yet not quite at the breaking point. The collapse hasn’t come, not yet, so the two souls in it are left disoriented, each trying to process the unsettling pain in their own way, deepening the distance. Every conversation felt hopeless, pointless, a dead-end. Oh God, just thinking about it makes me gasp. More or less, I think I lived through that exact thing.
So the girl was desperately asking: “If it’s all in my head, tell me now.”
Translated: Okay, you don’t have to hold back anymore. Don’t walk on eggshells anymore. Don’t pick your words carefully not to trigger my anxiety and insecurity. Just say it. Just tell me. Anything. Just don’t act like I don’t exist.
The way she sang it was so heartbreaking. It wasn’t even a dare. She was just hopelessly begging for any sign of existence, any proof that she was still real in his world. “I was once everything and now I'm just a footnote in the stories of your life.” The contrast was terrifying, and the silence, deafening.
Then, she ended it with something sounding like bitter self-acceptance, pulling her back to a reality that maybe her mind could grasp, but her body and soul hadn’t caught up to yet: “I know my love should be celebrated. But you tolerate it.” You know how achingly painful it is to witness your rawest, deepest love not only ignored, but brushed aside as a burden?
And the way she kept setting up the silver platters and silver cutlery, trapped in a room with only herself, while the only other energy that entered was him, but cold, detached, and emotionally absent?
That deadly, bone-chilling, suffocating isolation we find ourselves in near the end of a failing relationship - she embodied it so well!
---
So, that’s a wrap on the perfect 13.
Shoutout to the not-only-not-running-away-from-life-but-embracing-it-head-on-while-building-her-own-billionaire-empire Taylor Swift!
On a final side note, I also love the playful, on-beat hip shake she did in Fearless. Such a treat!
Okay, bye now, for real! Before even more slips out 😆
Comments